Nightmare
by lilalexis131
Summary: Most nights Sasuke Uchiha would wake up in a cold sweat, terrified of his dreams...its slowly driving him to his breaking point, to the end, but will someone see in time to help him? Rated M, contains Self injury
1. Chapter 1

Blood pounding, rushing through my veins, through his ears. Breath, coming out in gasps, in pants, catching in his throat. He can feel the fear, the panic, build, slowly, ever so slowly, threatening to burst. Make him break.

Of course...no one would ever be able to tell how close to the edge he really was. How close he was to breaking, and shattering to a million pieces. No..no one would-could- see through Uchiha Sasuke...see or know the cause to his downword spiral...

Except for him...

Late night/ early morning

Sasuke sat up in his bed with a start. His raven blue-black hair hung and stuck to his face and neck in sweaty strands. He took in large gulps of air as he looked around, struggling to take in his surroundings. He calmed slightly-just slightly- when he saw he was in his room. The same room he's lived in for the past 15 years.

Sasuke groaned, and pulled his legs up to his chest and dug the heels of his hands in his eyes roughly, before pushing the covers off and swinging his legs off the bed. He stood up, stretching briefly before walking in a trance-like state into the bathroom down the hall. He switched the light on and winced at the sharp glare of the light, then stared tiredly at himself in the mirror.

He had _that_ dream again...no...not a dream..._nightmare_ was the word. He dreamt that it was that night...the night everything went wrong..the night that left him an orphan...the last Uchiha alive in Konoha village...

The night that haunted him years later...slowly driving him to insanity.

Sasuke closed his eyes tightly and clentched his fists tightly looking down. He felt like he was still there...seeing the blood...the lifeless eyes stairing at him...haunting him.

His black eyes burt open, and he gasped, breathing quickly. He looked in the mirror again, and saw the panic and fear on his face. His breaths coming in fast, barely filling his lungs with air that he needed as he started to hypervenalate.

'Damnit Sasuke! Dont think about it!' He mentally screamed at himself, then stumbled to grab something from a shelf next to the mirror.

The object caught the light of the bathroom, throwing light off its metallic surface. The youngest Uchiha cradled the object in the palm of his hand delicatly for a minute, the weight feeling heavy when in reality it weighted no more than coin. His breathing calmed considerably as he looked down at the object, before pushing his sleeve up his arm slightly, then holding the object up to the light by his forefinger and thumb. The dull silver of the razor held the teens full attention, and he took in the sharp edges, crusted in red-dried-brown blood-his blood.

He swallowed in slight anticipation before slowly lowering the blade to the inside of his left wrist, pressing the cool steel into his skin, before slowly applying pressure and drawing it across the pale white skin. Instantly, a thin line of red bubbled to the surface, before quickly spreading and expanding. The scarlet moved slowly, spreading outwards, covering scars of differing colors as they slowly healed, coating scabs and other recent wounds in the warm liquid.

Sasuke watched the cut bubble and spread while a slow calmness settled over his body. His heartbeat slowly back down to a steady rhythm and his breathing calmed. The tension in his shoulders and back relaxed, and he leaned back against the wall heavily, still staring at him arm.

'I need to stop...'He thought then sighed, bringing the blade back to his arm and repeated the process twice more. 'This is the last time..' He told himself quietly, though knew it was a lie. He would do this again...next time he had that dream.

For now, Sasuke set the blade up on the shelf again, and held a towel to his wrist while he started the shower. He got in, standing under the hot spray of water. He winced for only a minute when the water his his open cuts, but then sighed, enjoying the slight sting it brought. He quickly washed up, then got out.

He changed, then got a bandage out and wrapped his arm expertly. He grabbed his arm bands and put them on, covering his scarred arms.

When he left the bathroom, the sun was just beginning its rise into the sky, and sent a soft, warm pinkish-orange glow into the empty Uchiha compound. He stopped to look out at the sky with a quiet look. How many sunrises had he seen the last few years? He lost count after the first year. 'Every single one' a nagging voice in his mind told him, which him promptly ignored. He turned his back to the window and went back into his room to get his kunai pouch and leg holster [A/N: i totally forgot what their called...so just deal with this for now:] ]

Once he had them on, he walked out of the house, then the compound with a perfectly composed posture, hiding his previous moment of weakness. He headed off in the sunrise to the training grounds to wait for his team and get a little practicing time in before any one showed.

In the end, Sasuke managed to get an hour of training in by himself, and still have a half hour before Sakura and a yawning Naruto showed up.

Sakura gave Sasuke a bright beaming smile and a happy "Goodmorning Sasuke-kun!" He gave her a slight nodd in responce, hinting annoyance. 'Stupid Sakura...doesnt have a worry in the world...only a stupid childs crush on me' He thought then looked at his other teammate.

Said teammate yawned and rubbed his eyes tiredly before settling his bright blue eyes on dark black ones.

"Sasuke-teme" Uzumake Naruto said, narrowing his eyes slightly as he greated his rival/friend/teammate.

"Dobe" Sasuke returned, then leaned back against a tree, closing his eyes. His arm was throbbing a little and he had a feeling that the bandage he put on earlier that morning was soaked through with his blood. He fought back a yawn as the three team mates waited for their team leader. For some sinking reason Sasuke knew he was going to regret the hour of training he did alone, and not going to sleep after waking from the nightmare.

He sighed quietly outloud and shook his head. 'Its all to get stronger...and to keep going' He thought, not noticing the weird look Naruto gave him, and the curiously concerned emerald eyes of Sakura.

"Ne- Sasuke-bastard?" Naruto asked after a painful elbow to the side given to him by Sakura and the nod she gave him towards Sasuke.

"What is it Naruto?" Sasuke asked dully, turning to glance at the blonde.

"You okay? You look tired"He asked slowly, watching Sasuke closely for a second. He watched the dark haired teen give a shrug.

Naruto blinked a little and turned to look at Sakura with a slight confused look. Sakura just shook her head. Both turned to watch the Uchiha quietly. They knew something was bothering him lately, but they couldnt figure it out.

Sasuka sighed in irritation when they felt the two sets of eyes stare at him. He turned about to reply stopped when their team leader showed up.

"Yo"He greeted with a crinkle eye smile and a tilt of his head. "Sorry im late...i got lost after returning a lost kitten to its mother"

"Kakashi-sensei! Your two hours late!" Sakura yelled in irritation. Naruto agreed with Sakura with a nod of his head.

"Why dont you just admit that your a lazy bastard?" Naruto asked loudly, crossing his arms.

Kakashi continued to give the two a eye-crinkle smile, then opened his eye when he didnt hear Sasuke's normal scoff of irritation at the two's repeated questions or his excuse. "Sasuke?" He called quietly, watching the boy turned his head slightly in his direction.

He took in several things at one. The dark circles under the boys eyes, the posture he held was bent over, his spiked hair held a slight droop, his eyes were dull, clothes wrinkled. He looked thinner under his normal attire, and the most important was how he cradled his left arm to his side, favoring it. 'curious...'he thought slowly, a slight frown on his face.

"Ne?"Sasuke grunted, looking at his sensei with dull eyes and a bored expression. Truthfully however, he was freaking out. He saw the way Kakashi's eye looked over his form, and the way his eye narrowed a fraction ever few moments when he noticed something different about him. 'oh god...dont ask questions..just let me be' he begged silently, though his face and body language didnt show or give anything away.

"You look...tired. did you get enough sleep? Eat breakfast?" Kakashi asked, keeping eye contact with the Uchiha.

Sasuke let out a mental sigh of relief. He rolled his eyes and replied "Slept enough. Not hungry" He shrugged a little and pushed away from the tree. "Are we going to sit here all day or do something?" He asked, looking at the three with a bored look and an eyebrow raised.

Kakashi relaxed slightly when he heard a normal responce from the teen. "We are...Naruto and Sasuke team up, Sakura, me and you are partners" He said, stepping back and motioned for Sakura to follow him to another area of the training grounds.

Naruto grinned and said pumping his fists in the air, "Alright! Lets get going!" He raced towards the opposite end of the feild with a burst of energy.

"Why rush baka? In a rush to get your ass kicked?" Sasuke called smirking and turning to face the blonde who was scowling at Sasuke now.

"Yeah right bastard! im gunna kick your ass!" He growled, creating three shadow clones.

Sasuke just chuckled quietly, as his eyes turned red as he activited his sharingan.

Kakashi watched the two from the opposite feild, dodging Sakura's attacks easily. 'Somethings deffinatly wrong with him...'he thought as he watched how Sasuke attacked. He didnt use his left arm, the one he was favoring. He stopped paying attention however, when Sakura's kunai skimmed passed his head, cutting a few strands of his gravity-defying silver hair. 'I'll figure it out later...'he thought before throwing himself into the fight and going to throw his own kunai back at the pink haired girl, who dodged if effortlessly.


	2. Chapter 2

A hour or so later, Kakashi's voice shouting that they could stop practicing for the day, startled the raven haired ninja, making him miss the fox's last punch to him. The blow landed hard on Sasuke's shoulder and knocked him to the ground with a muffled 'oof!'

"Shit! Sasuke! Im sorry! Are you alright!" Naruto, gasped, turning to look at the teen with wide blue eyes.

"Ne..im fine baka..." Sasuke grunted, before shakily standing to his feet and brushing grass off him. He straighted his clothes silently and hurridly fixed his slipping arm bands, paling slightly when he caught a glimpse of red,angry flesh.

"You sure your okay?" Naruto asked, a little worridly seeing him pale. WHen he got no response he called loudly across the feild to Kakashi. "Hey! Kakashi-sensei! I think Sasuke's hurt!" He shouted. He saw Sakura's head snap towards the two in alarm, then watched as Kakashi shook his head to Sakura, telling her to wait there.

"I said i was fine Naruto!" Sasuke said a little angrily, and went to smack the blonde loud-mouth on the top of the head. He took silent saticfaction when the said loud-mouth winced in pain and turned to glare at Sasuke.

"Hey, knock it off you two!" Kakashi scolded, reaching the two after walking over there. He glanced over at Naruto for a second, then looked at Sasuke with concern in his eyes. "Naruto...why dont you and Sakura-chan go get some ramen...Sasuke and i will catch up with you both in a little while..i needed to speak with Sasuke anyways" He said softly, his voice slightly muffled by his sweat-soaked mask.

Naruto nodded slowly, but grinned turning and running over to Sakura. "Oi! Sakura-chan! Lets go get ramen! Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei will catch up later" He said happily, then grabbed the pink haired girls hair and began to drag her away.

When both team members left, Kakashi spoke again. "Come on...lets take a walk" He said quietly, stuffing his hands into his pockets and nodding towards the woods. He took off walking without waiting for a reply from Sasuke, who had no choice but to follow.

"Im fine Kakashi-sensei.."Sasuke muttered quietly, walking beside his sensei with his head bowed down. His left arm was tucked snugly against his side protectivly, which Kakashi silently took note of.

When they were quite a distance away from the training grounds, they reached a small clearing. Kakashi looked around quietly for a few seconds before nodding slightly. "Come on..." He said quietly, leading the teen towards a fallen tree on the other side of the clearing. He sat down slowly, a few bones cracking slightly, which Kakashi grimanced at. "Ah...the downside of getting old" He said sadly with a touch too much drama. He looked beside him at Sasuke, who was sitting looking down at the ground.

"So...Sasuke..." He said quietly, watching the teens ears twitch slightly at the sound of his name. "How are you?" He asked softly, watching him with concern in his eye-while they were walking he had put his headband back on, covering his left eye.

"Sensei...i know you didnt ask me all the way out here just to ask how i was" Came Sasuke's quiet reply. His voice held no sass or anger...just...quiet, emptyness that bordered on hinting his inner struggle.

"Yeah...i guess your right...i didnt..." Kakashi agreed, "Do you know why i did?" He waited for Sasuke's slow headshake before continuing. "Im just a little concerned about you...i was watching you and Naruto spar...and you seemed to be favoring your left arm...any particular reason as to why?"

"I sprained a muscle" Sasuke lied quietly, having already came up with the excuse on his way here, if Kakashi had chosen to ask about it.

"I dont think you did...we havent trained in a couple of days...and according to Naruto and Sakura, you hadnt left your complex at all during that time..." Kakashi spoke gently. "Is everything alright Sasuke?" Kakashi sat back slightly, not reacting to Sasuke's quick, angered reply of "Im fine! Nothings wrong!"

"Why are you getting so angry then, Sasuke, if nothings wrong? Something must be...you look pale and have bags under your eyes...Have you been sleeping alright? and whats with your arm then?" He asked softly, trying not to upset the boy anymore. "You can tell me Sasuke...i wont judge you...i just want to make sure your alright.."

Sasuke clutched his left arm to him, and looked down, flushing a light pink. "Im fine...nothings wrong...my arms fine! and ive been sleeping fine too...its none of your business.." He said weakly.

"Sasuke..." Kakashi sighed, moving to kneel in front of the raven haired teen. "You can trust me Sasuke...anything you say to me, i will keep between us...unless your life is in danger though...i would have to tell someone...so...whats wrong?" He asked softly, placing a hand lightly on Sasuke's knee. "Im just worried about you"

Sasuke closed his eyes tightly and flushed a darker pink as he felt his eyes stung with tears. "You wont tell anyone?" He asked weakly.

"No one" Kakashi agreed softly.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Sasuke sniffled slightly. "Im...i cant take it anymore Kakashi-sensei...i dont want to see it...it hurts too much" He whispered.

"Take what?"

"The nightmares...everynight...i see them..the blood...the lifeless eyes staring at me...my parents" Sasuke choaked out, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, as if to protect him from the images that flashed through his mind. He finally broke down and began to sob, his body shaking from the force of them.

Kakashi stared at Sasuke silently for a second, before pulling the boy to him, and hugging him tightly. "Its alright Sasuke...its alright...that was a very traumatic experience you had to live through...but your safe..Itatchi cant hurt you" The silver hair man whispered, his heart clentching at the sound of sobs the boy was making. Kakashi knew that everyone should have been more concerned for the Uchiha boy after the murder of his clan...but when everyone saw how the boy acted...they brushed him off...thinking that he was fine. Kakashi knew better though, and knew that he was still tramatized...if anyone knew anything about loss, it would be him...

"Sasuke...i know its hard...trying to deal with this and try to move on, but it is possible..."

"How is it possible? i saw my family dead! my own flesh and blood brother did it too! i cant move on...i cant..." Sasuke gasped, staring up at his sensei with tear filled, wide eyes. "I cant let myself forget..."

"Why cant you?" Kakashi questioned, watching him.

"Because they were my family...i-if...if i forget them...then its like they never exsisted...its all i have left of them...their the reason i keep going on! i have to avenge their death! I have to...no..i need to kill Itachi" He said, suddenly looking away with a painfilled look.

Kakashi sighed a little but nodded. "I understand your pain Sasuke...but going on like this...by yourself...you have people that care for you, that are willing to be there for you if you need help..you can keep going without that intent in mind.." He paused a little, in thought. "Is this why your so tired all the time Sasuke? how often to you think about that day?"

"its everyday...i wake up with nightmares about it...i...i hate sleeping..because...when i close my eyes...its dark...and-and it takes me back to that day, its like i cant forget it...and when i sleep...its...i feel so alone..." The teen admitted quietly, looking down and closing his eyes. He held his wrist closer to him, wincing as it throbbed a little in pain.

He opened his eyes in panic when Kakashi reached out to touch his left hand lightly, and ask quietly, "Do you want to tell me about your arm then?" At that moment, Sasuke's face paled, he knew Kakashi had a strong idea about what was wrong with it..that he knew, without having to look or be told.

Sasuke swallowed in panic again, his breath catching when Kakashi took his silence as a yes, and pulled his arm out to him, and began to inch the wrist band down. The was a slight gasp and catch of breath from Kakashi.

"Sasuke..." Kakashi breathed, his eye windening when he looked at the angry red gashes, scabbed cuts, and raised scars coating the boys arm.

Sasuke looked away in shame.

"Can i ask why?" He questioned quietly, wanting to know what would cause the boy so much pain that he would have the need to cut himself.

"It makes me feel better...emptys my mind...calms me...the nightmares cause me enough pain, then...i...i dont like being alone...it..i cant take it" He whispered, slightly alarmed and surprised at what he had just said. He hadnt even admitted to himself that he didnt like feeling alone. If anyone were to know the boy, they would say that he seemed to enjoy being alone.

"Your not alone Sasuke...im here for you...Naruto is...Sakura is...there are alot of people that care for you...perhaps even love you" Kakashi whispered, hugging the boy to him.

"It doesnt feel like it...no one shows it..." Kakashi heard the boy whisper nearly silently.

"It is true..." Kakashi said quietly "I care for you..."Kakashi struggled to find the right words. "Sasuke..your a wonderful...smart, handsome boy...sure, your quiet and moody sometimes..but...thats what makes you, you...your a good listener, and you care for your teammates and friends alot, even though you may not show it...its what makes me admire you so much, and be proud of how you've grown since you've been part of team 7"

Sasuke looked at the man with wide surprised eyes. "You...what? I..i dont believe you..." Sasuke whispered sounding shaken a little as he searched his sensei's face. "Why would you be proud of someone like me? I havent done anything...and...and...the things i have done..." He shook his head slightly as if to physically shake off an unwanted thought. "No one is proud of a fuck up like me...and i doubt anyone cares either..."Sasuke muttered, turning away from Kakashi and hiding his face his his bangs.

"That isnt true Sasuke...you've done plenty to make me proud...others too...your a strong young man...and as to you being fucked up...arent we all a little screwed up in one way or another? The fact that your feeling this way...well..you have the right to be...no one actually asked if you were okay...but now...now im going to change that..."Kakashi said quietly, reaching his hand up to Sasukes face and turning it gently to face him. "im here for you, you got that Sasuke?I'll keep asking if your okay everyday if you need to hear it...just so you know that im here and that i care about you"

Sasuke flushed a dark pink but nodded, looking into Kakashi's eye quietly. "o-okay..." He mumbled quietly.

Kakashi just crinkled his eye and nodded, standing up and looking at the sky in thought. He glanced down when he felt a little tug on his pants.

"Thank you Kakashi-sensei..."The boy murmured quietly, looking up at the man with dark, serious eyes. "And...you wont tell anyone...right?"

"Not a soul, if you dont want me to"

"I dont"

"Then i wont...but we will work together to help you stop cutting"

"I know"

With everything said, the two headed back to the village, quiet but content with the silence between them. Halfway into the village both ninja parted way, Kakashi to his apartment and Sasuke to his house.

A few Hours later, nighttime.

"I wont do it...i wont...i promised Kakashi-sensei..." Sasuke muttered pacing back and forth in his room. Soon after he had gotten home he had layed down and fell asleep, and just a few minutes ago woke up from a nightmare he had.

"Shit..." Sasuke muttered, his hand twitching as he tried not to scratch his arm and break open the slow healing cuts there. He leaned heavily against his window and pressed his forehead to the cool glass,looking out. He sat there for a little while before swearing again and giving up, going into his bathroom and grabbing his razor. He flipped it a few times in his hand, and watched it reflect the light and glint brightly in the dully light room. Sasuke closed his hand around the thin blade then quickly left the house and ran down the street. He didnt know where he was heading, but he just knew to keep running and not stop, because if he did, he knew he would cut.

Minutes later, Sasuke found himself standing outside of Kakashi's apartment. He stood there uncertain of what he was doing before slowly raising his hand that wasnt clutching the blade and knocked on the door. 'please be home...please' Sasuke begged silently shifting from foot to foot as he waiting. He sighed in relief when he saw the door crack open and Kakashi peeking his head out.

"Oh...Sasuke...its you...is everything alright? come on in" Kakashi said quietly, giving Sasuke a eye crinkle and opening the door and stepping aside to let him in. He paused for a second, standing at Sasuke quietly.

"Your hands bleeding" Kakashi murmured softly, reaching his hand out to take the teens hand in his own. He pried his fingers open then sighed, seeing the blade imbedded in his hand, and making the wound drip crimson blood. "Come with me" He said leading a quiet Sasuke into the bathroom and taking out a first aid kit and a wash cloth. "Run your hand under water and ill patch you up...while your doing that...do you want to tell me what happened?" Kakashi asked quietly, wetting the cloth and taking a few bandages out and looking at the raven haired boy.

Sasuke sighed and softly told his sensei what happened. He looked at Kakashi surprised when he saw the silver haired jonen smiling at him.

"Im proud of you sasuke...you resisted cutting...well...minus the fact that your hand is bleeding..but you came to me instead" Kakashi murmured softly

well talk about bad timings...sorry this sounds all jumbled and scattered. im going from writing a happy story, to this sad story...and its hard to switch the writing themes a bit...although...it could be the fact that i was stung in the neck in english class today...-dont worry, im not alergic!- although tragic...i find this incident very humorous...

but any-whoo! this is chapter two...

and reviews would make me a happy person, which will make me want to write more...-hint;hint- :D

and...yeahh...i was brain dead for mos of this, so i apologize for mistakes and confusion...chemistry is killing my brain T.T

again...any-whoo...read and review my pretties!

and if your a Ouran fan...read my Letters Written in Ink story and review on that too!

peace out~

~Alexis 3


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